Tag Archives: haircut

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Aaagggghhh!!!  AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!  My hair stylist just informed me that he’s retiring.  Can you believe it?!  How could he do this to me??!!  It’s not that I begrudge his putting down the scissors and putting up his feet.  It’s not that I think he should work until he keels over.  But does he have to retire now?  Couldn’t he wait until he’s, say, ninety?  You know, just another 30 years or so until whatever hair I have left is a shade of blue and can be done by the same person who is changing my Depends.  Is that too much to ask?  Am I being selfish here?

I do love my hair stylist and Lord knows the guy works really hard.  He deserves to enjoy his golden years relaxing.  But where on earth am I going to find someone to cut my hair?  It’s just not that simple.  Since 1978 and my first “Peter Pan” I’ve worn my hair short and boyish.  Oh, there was a minute there when I got the bob and perm bug, but I quickly came to my senses and went back to the look that suits my face and lack of hair styling expertise.  I don’t even own a comb.  So the cut, a good cut, is ESSENTIAL.  And since Brian has cut my hair, the experience is not only stylistically satisfying, the entertainment factor is immense.  The guy is hysterically funny.  Many are the times he’s had to wait for me to sit upright to finish my hair cut, while I, doubled over with laughter, gasped for breath.  And since he owns the shop and only has one other operator, it’s quiet and easy going (except for the sound of my cackling, that is).  When I was preparing for my wedding and felt like my hair wasn’t doing what it should, he cut it again, for free!  He just cares.  He cares.  Did I mention that I drive three hours there and back for this little slice of salon heaven?

The fact is I’ve been really spoiled and now must find another spot to spoil me.  A friend recommended a place very nearby that seems to be where all the hip people are going.  Her hair always looks great so I figured she must be in the know.  I called to speak to her stylist who also happens to be the owner, just to see if there was a rapport there.  To see if she would be someone I’d like to spend an hour with every five weeks.  First a supercilious assistant insisted that I make a fifteen minute consultation appointment.  Said appointment could not be for another month however, as this person is so busy that she can’t squeeze in two minutes to look at my head and say hello.  Okay.  I understand.  See you in six weeks.  Then, when the appointed day arrived I walked into the salon to find myself in the midst of a bee hive, and I don’t mean the hairdo.  There were about twelve operators and they were all yakking away over the drone of high powered hairdryers and the bass line of piped in techno music until I thought my head would pop off.  “Are you checking in?” the receptionist says to me.

“I’m checking out.”  This place is definitely not for me.

Now I’ve had my hair done in almost every major city in the country at one time or another, so it’s not like I can’t handle a big, busy salon.  I mean the flip side of my local experience is Elizabeth Arden Red Door in Washington, DC, where you feel as if you need to take your shoes off and then curtsey when the intern to the assistant to the hair washer comes to fetch you for your audience with the stylist.  But honestly, unless they’re wearing little green and white checked pinafores and singing “Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, and a couple of tra-la-las.  That’s how we laugh the day away in the merry old Land of Oz…” I prefer to not feel like I’m on the conveyor belt of a grooming assembly line.  A little personal service is all I’m asking.  Look at my head.  Look at my face.  Talk to me for a minute to know my personality and what I expect.  In other words, GIVE ME A LOOK.  Is that too much to ask?

In the meantime I will continue to walk up to well coiffed strangers and say “Who cuts your hair?”



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Business in the Front, Party’s Over in the Back

What’s the deal with the long hair, men? The ponytail is OVER.  Yeah, I’m talking to you, Mr. I-Was-At-Woodstock!  Why are you hanging on to that thing, especially those of you who have lost some on the top?  Here I must digress to say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with baldness.  In fact, lots of women find bald men sexy.  Remember Douglas Brackman on L.A. Law?  The assistant principal at my high school was bald on top and he couldn’t have been more than 35.  Mr. Dietz.  He was very sexy.  Believe me, everybody was trying to get detention.  But dude, if you’re trying to hang on to your youth, or youthful appearance I’m here to tell you that you will look, and perhaps feel, years younger without the Grateful Dead tribute down your back.  Is the wife telling you to keep it?  Wait till she sees you looking like the handsome, modern guy who knows where it’s at and then see how much she misses Mullet City.

For us in the over 50 crowd, the whole long hair, dirty jeans thing went out around the time we were learning the Hustle.  I’m referring to the disco dance, not Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities, neither of which has survived very well.  So it’s time for a fresh look.  And the dirty jeans are just not that edgy.  We all love the great outdoors but who needs the great unwashed?

I know that face, that look.  You’re admitting to yourself that perhaps you could use a little update.  You can still keep your own style, be age appropriate and not look like you’re ready to line up for the early-bird special.  Lee and Levi both have a huge selection of jeans, very fairly priced, and not too “trendy” and you can get a pair that will actually fit (did you know that the butt sags later in life?).  There’s a fit for every bod, practically.  Regular Fit, Premium Select, Vintage Slim, Modern Slim.  The list is endless.  And if you go to the official Lee web site, many are on sale right now.  Kohls also carries a huge variety of styles and cuts and I don’t know about you but I must get a promotion in the mail from them every week.

A couple of new T-shirts would make a big difference too.  One or two in a dark blue or black that don’t say “Jack Daniels,” and a couple new white ones because the white get pretty dingy after a year of wearing and goodness knows if you have any kind of beard, after a while the neck looks like the cat chewed it.  Kohls’ “Croft and Barrow” tees wash well, are REALLY reasonable and come in just the right classy colors.   My man has a slew of them and loves them.   Pick up a dark sport coat and throw that over the whole thing and you’re a rock star.

And as Dad said when he handed you the car keys, “Get a haircut!”

Tees:  http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-926718/croft-barrow-easy-care-ribbed-tee-men.jsp?color=New%20White



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